Betting on Green Eggs and Ham
by Runaway Memories
Summary: Lily admits her feelings for James in a metaphor. Oneshot.


**A/N: **Hey everyone! This is my first published fic so all criticisms and comments are hugely appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, no matter how much I wish I did. That honor goes to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.

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**Betting on Green Eggs and Ham**

"James Potter is Green Eggs and Ham." I told Alice one day in our dorm.

"What, Lily?" Alice asked, looking up from her Potions essay, which was due earlier. Alice is a Master Procrastinator. She's even worse than me! And I'm a professional procrastinator. I did a whole essay on Human Transfiguration during History of Magic. It's not like Binns even notices. Anyway, History is right before McGonagall. And I was able to scrape an E.

Back to my point. "James Potter is Green Eggs and Ham."

"What the hell, Lily?" Was she being intentionally thick?

"_James Potter is Green Eggs and Ham_." I say very slowly. "Haven't you ever read the book 'Green Eggs and Ham' when you were little?"

"Lily! You're talking to a pureblood witch here." Alice rolled her eyes. "All the stories I ever heard were by Beedle the Bard."

"Oh. Well Dr. Seuss books were really popular when I was a kid." I told her. Hmm. No wonder she had no idea what I was talking about. "Well, anyway, the story is about this bloke, Sam-I-Am, who was trying to convince this other nameless bloke to eat green eggs and ham. Now that I think about it, the story is really weird but I guess that's to be expected since it's a children's book."

"Why is James green eggs and ham?" Alice asked me.

"Because in the end the nameless bloke finally gave in and ate the green eggs and ham and he liked it, like Sam-I-Am said he would." I finished reluctantly.

Why couldn't Alice have known the story? Then I would have been saved some embarrassment. Because admitting I _fancied_ James Potter was embarrassing. And what was worse was that I admitted it in the form of making a metaphor about bloody green eggs and ham.

"So you fancy James, then?" Alice was grinning widely as she jumped up from her bed and hugged me. "Took you long enough. I'm not sure how much more the poor bloke can take."

"I can't _tell_ him." I said, panicked now. "What will everyone say? I mean, Head Girls who supposedly hate the Head Boy, do not just go around announcing that they suddenly _fancy_ them." I crossed my arms. "No way am I going to admit that to anyone else."

"Lily!" Great. Alice was exasperated. Not good for Lily and her keep-James-from-knowing-about-her-fancy plan. "I know for a fact that there is a bet going around as to when you'll finally go out with James. Some people betted as early as last year."

"Really?" I asked sceptically. Why was _my_ love life the topic of bets? And probably lots of gossip? "Well that's mad. Last year, if someone told me that I would one day fancy James, I would have taken them to the Hospital Wing to have Madam Pomfrey check their head." I really would have. Because that's how mad I would've thought they were.

"I know. You did that to me." Alice mock-glared at me. How was I to know that she was sane? She could've got hit on the head with a Bludger, for all I knew.

"The past is the past." I grinned at her.

She thought about that for a moment before grinning maniacally.

"Um, Alice? What are you thinking?" That was bad. Alice grinning maniacally was really bad. I have a whole six and a half years of experience on that front.

"You said it yourself, Lily. The past is the past." Uh-oh. Definitely not good. "Now you can go snog James. I mean, everyone can just forget about all the shouting matches you two have had and enjoy the money that they'll get back from the bets." Alice was smirking now. "See? Going out with James will make everyone happy."

And then, she grabbed her finished essay and walked out of the dorm.

I decided to leave the matter there. She wouldn't say anything. She'd leave that embarrassment to me.

The next morning at breakfast, I was happily eating my waffles. I love waffles. Especially blueberry ones. With maple syrup. Yum.

So anyway, there I was, happily eating my blueberry maple syrup-covered waffles, when, as my fork was soaring down to get another forkful of waffles, my plate disappeared and a second later, a plate filled with green eggs and ham appeared in its place.

I groaned. Alice! Why, oh, why, did she have to do this to me?

I glared at her. She was sitting across from me and she was _innocently_ chatting with Frank Longbottom, her long-time boyfriend. She ignored my glare so I kicked her under the table.

"What?" she asked me, smirking. I really hate her sometimes. Why is she my best mate?

"This." I pointed down at my previously waffle-filled plate.

Alice glanced down at my plate. "Well, you might like it if you try it, you know." Then, she gave me a knowing glance and went back to chatting with Frank who looked confused. Poor Frank. He's going out with a madwoman.

"Alice!" I hissed. Damn. She's ignoring me again. Unfortunately, the Marauders, who were sitting a few seats away looked at me.

"What's with the green eggs, Evans?" Sirius smirked. "I didn't know the Slytherins decided to puke on your breakfast."

I glared at him as James muttered, "Shut up, Padfoot."

"But we really are curious, though. Why green?" Sirius was now ignoring James' threats to shut up.

"Because." I stood up and walked towards them. They were surprised, to say the least. Even more so when I grabbed James by the collar and snogged him.

I smiled when I heard Alice demanding her money back from Sirius, who I could tell, was frowning. Apparently, Alice upped her bet last night to a considerable amount.

Bloody Alice and her betting tendencies.

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**Please review and let me know what you all think. Even if you review just to say that I should just stop writing because I'm horrible.**

**Retracing Footsteps**


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